


I Missed You

by misscinny



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Mild Language, sfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-04-10 15:29:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4397264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misscinny/pseuds/misscinny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cullen has to wait for Lavellan to come back from battle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Missed You

**Author's Note:**

> Major credit to my friend Amy West for helping me through this one!

Mornings were typically cold in Skyhold, frost clinging to the grass, breath visible with each exhale. But Cullen was chilled from more than just the low temperature on this particular morning. He had been standing out by the stables since before the sun even began to peek over the horizon, pacing back and forth and muttering to himself. He had told himself that he was just going to see her off today. Feign professionalism so that he could sneak in some time to be close to her. But the longer he stood there, the more he thought about why she was leaving.

He dug a hand into a bag of oats and offered it to a horse, stroking it's nose as it ate from his hand. He wasn't even sure why he came out so early. He sniffed against the cold and fought a shiver. This was ridiculous. He should be in his office, reviewing orders and tending to the matters of his men; not stressing himself to the point of stomach cramps. 

The sound of armored feet clanked against stone. Cullen zipped around to see Vhildere making her way down the main steps of the keep, surrounded by her companions and guardsmen. She looked unkempt from her night's slumber still, though that wasn't uncommon for her. She was already dressed in her battle gear; tanned leather that was tailored perfectly for her small frame. Plated armor covered her arms and shins, but the rest remained flexible; chain mail possibly in places that weren't visible. Despite her unladylike appearance, she still managed to look so becoming to him.

"Commander Cullen," her voice spoke across the distance between them. He almost jumped at the sudden sound, blinking out of his trance. "What are you doing out here this morning?"

The ensemble of guards and companions began to fill the stables, mindless chatter blending with the whinnies of their mounts. Vhildere stopped in front of Cullen, her brilliant green eyes looking up to search his face. Thin brows furrowed. "How long have you been out here? There's frost in your hair."

Cullen tousled his wavy locks and watched in astonishment as tiny pieces of ice fell from his hair. He hadn't even realized that it had been that long. Vhildere smirked and reached into the inside of her long leather jacket, pulling out a small folded handkerchief. "Your nose is running, too," she mentioned. He took it from her, and tucked into the pouch on his hip instead of using it.

"Inquisitor," he finally said, following her as she made her way into the stables. She walked up to a Hart, patting it's nose gently. She reached into her pocket and offered it a cube of sugar, speaking soft, soothing words to it.

"What did you need, Commander?" She asked as she began preparing the animal to be ridden.

He rubbed at the back of his neck. He didn't really know what to say. He had planned to let her know about his fears when she came out, but seeing her prepare for her trek made him decide against it. He didn't want to worry her, or scare her. She probably had her own anxieties about battle. His frown lines deepened as he thought.

"I-I was wondering if..." he trailed off. He huffed a sigh, his breath a visible white puff in front of him. "Did you perhaps want me to send some guards with you?"

"Why?" Vhildere asked, not breaking her focus on dressing the Hart. Cullen watched her for a moment, distracted by her small, lithe body attempting to reach over the hart, one foot sticking up in the air. Maker, she was so beautiful. She huffed in frustration when she couldn't get the saddle positioned just right. Cullen came over and silently offered his assistance.

"Maybe the guards could go in your place this one time?" He asked over his shoulder coyly, shifting the saddle into place and reaching underneath the Hart to clasp the buckles. He heard Vhildere sigh lightly behind him. "If only I could," she replied. "But I'm the only one who can close the rifts, remember?" She held up her left hand to emphasize her point.

Cullen finished fastening the saddle, then stood up to face the elf again. Her big eyes returned his gaze. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, and Cullen stifled a groan at the motion. Why must she be so beautiful this morning? He had to resist the urge to reach out and pull her to him. He wanted to hold her close and keep her under his protection, to have her near him so that he knew where she was at all times.

She pushed some hair out of her face into the rest of her tangled locks. Her hand hovered over her head as a small look of horror slid across her face. "Oh, Gods...If I had known you were going to be down here this morning I would have..." Thin fingers slid into her hair as she attempted to comb it out. Cullen smirked.

"You're as beautiful as ever," he whispered assuredly. Vhildere's expression relaxed, her mouth widening in a bright smile, and her hands slipped back to her sides. Maker. The sight made his heart skip a beat. Resisting the urge to kiss her was so difficult at that moment.

The sound of the stall door opening and closing brought Cullen back to his senses. He begrudgingly took a step back from the Inquisitor. Her expression straightened as a guardsman came around to hand her a small stack of orders and reports. He spoke of where they were to go, and Cullen winced when he heard mention of the Storm Coast. He inwardly griped at the thought of her traveling so far away. That was at least a week's travel in one direction, not to mention how long she will have to stay there.

"Thank you," Vhildere said as she took the report. Cullen watched her flip through it mindlessly until the guard was out of sight. Sighing, she tucked the report into a pouch on the saddle. "I suppose I'm going to need to head out soon." She muttered. A muscle lept in his jaw as he clenched it, fighting a protest. He helped her up as she lifted herself into the saddle.

He left one hand lingering on her thin knee once she was settled in, gripping it lightly. She looked down at him with a half smile. He stared at her, his expression an unspoken plea for her not to leave. He was sure she could see the concern etched across his face. 

"I've done this more than a dozen times already, Cullen."

He stared up at her beneath lowered brows. "It's different this time," he said quietly. He was usually very good at hiding his emotions, but he couldn't help himself this time. She placed two of her fingers against her lips, then pressed them against his. The closest thing to a kiss that they could share when trying to keep an air of professionalism.

Straightening in her saddle, she gently kicked her heels into the Hart's flanks. She led herself and her companions out of the stables and out of the keep. Cullen stood there, feeling helpless for the first time in a very long time. 'Maker please watch over her,' he silently prayed. It was all he knew he could do as he watched her disappear from sight.

"Commander?" a voice interrupted his thoughts. He turned to see one of his men holding a bundle of reports for him to review. Sighing, he snatched it from the young man's hands and started back towards his office.

 

Cullen paced back and forth in his office. Five long strides across, five long strides back. He had counted his steps many times as he tried to keep himself distracted. He could not keep himself focused on his work. Not with her on his mind. Five strides across. He paused at his narrow window, casting a hopeful glance towards the portcullis of the keep.

No. It was too soon. It had only been three weeks.

He turned away from the window, sighing as he rubbed his hands over his face. He was so sure he was going to handle this better. He had over a decade of Templar experience, fighting demons and apostates. He had seen so many horrible things. Things he never cared to recall again. But, never in a thousand eras did he think that he would be defeated by separation anxiety. He had a less difficult time leaving his parents and siblings when he was chosen for training.

The longer he was made to wait, the shorter his temper had become as well. The elves from the kitchen all ran when he came to have his meals, causing him to dine alone. His men dreaded their training. They especially hated when he would pick up a sword and shield to spar with them. More than a few war counsels were ended abruptly because his quick temper.

It would not have been so bad, had he received timely summaries since her departure. But it had been a week since he had heard or read anything about her well being, and it was driving him mad. Granted, the Storm Coast was a generous distance distance away, and it took a long time to send and receive reports. He even understood that it was a miserable place to fight, and they would need more time to rest. But Leliana's Ravens were always prompt with reports.

Finally, Cullen flopped into his chair, deflating slightly. He reached into the pouch that hung from his belt, pulling out the handkerchief that Vhildere had lent him the day she left. He pressed it to his lips, a corner beneath his nose. The cotton massaged his lips, and her scent filled his nostrils. The aroma calmed him a bit, reminding him of the day they shared a kiss. He grinned when he recalled her stumbling into his office and wobbling in heels. Her scarred knees exposed beneath a lacy skirt betraying her lady-like demure. He never thought he'd see her dress as such, nor look so incredible when doing so. 

A knock disrupted his thoughts. He growled, tucking the folded square back into his pouch.

“What?” he called to the door, his voice laced with aggravation. There was no answer. “What!?” he called louder. He knew someone was there. He could see feet casting a shadow through the gap between the door and the floor. Cursing beneath his breath, he jumped up and stormed around his desk. When he reached the door, he swung it open and glared in irritation. “What?” he said a final time.

One of Leliana's men stood in the doorway. Big blue eyes stared up at him nervously. It was always this particular man that Leliana sent to Cullen to present reports or to deliver news to him. Perhaps he was her favorite; or maybe she was always punishing him to constantly send him after an angry Cullen.

“I um...” he managed to stammer after a hard swallow. Cullen glanced down and saw a report shaking in his hands. He immediately snatched the papers from the scout without thinking and slammed the door closed behind himself. He scanned over the first page before he realized what he had done. He turned back to the door, opening it enough to see the man still frozen there.

“What's your name?” Cullen asked

“J-Jim...” the man replied.

“Jim. Thank you.” Cullen said before slamming the door back into place. He hurried back, setting the assessment on his desk and sitting down. He quickly began reading the review, skipping over small details.

Bandits, caves, Thaig ruins. Each battle synopsis was vague at best. Minor injuries, healed with a simple salve and bandages. Irrelevant right now. He thumbed through several more pages, all saying pretty much the same thing. He paused on a small torn page tucked in amid the synopses, wrinkled and folded several times. In rough, sloppy scribe it read:

“Cullen,

I'm coming home.

-V”

Cullen's heart fluttered. It was such a simple message, yet it said so much. She had seen how concerned he was for her that day. She cared enough to leave him a note. It didn't matter that it was short. It was everything that he needed to hear. Thank the Maker.

He folded the note along its creases and tucked it into his pouch with her handkerchief. He collapsed against the back of his chair, leaning his head back as he let out a sigh of relief. The waiting wouldn't be as bad, now.

 

Cullen rolled over in his bed, fussing with the covers. He had been counting the days since he had received the letter from Vhildere. The longer he waited, the more giddy he felt. Today was day six, and knowing that the report was probably received a couple of days after it was sent, she would be back within a day or two. With that knowledge, Cullen couldn't even pretend to sleep.

Shift to the left. Toss one leg on top of the covers. Too cold, put it back beneath the covers. Stare out the window for a moment. Stars gaze back. Shift to the right. Eyes closed. Eyes back open.

Heaving a defeated sigh, Cullen gave up the pretense. He was used to not sleeping much because of the bad dreams, so another restless night didn't bother him. He sat up, pushing the covers away and dropping his bare feet onto the wood floor. The chill of the cold mountain air prickled the skin on his bare chest and arms. Ignoring it, he pushed himself out of bed, stretching and walking over to the window that overlooked Skyhold.

It was quiet on the grounds at night. A couple of guards would pace back and forth along their post. Some of the infirmary staff would go in and out of their building, tending to some of the wounded that rested outside. It was otherwise relatively still, most of the hold sleeping the night away.

Cullen's eyes fixed as a guard ran into the keep from the portcullis. A horn was pulled from his hip and gave it one hearty blow. “The Inquisitor returns!” Cullen could scarcely hear the man shout.

His whole body stopped for a moment. Even his heart paused for a second before leaping back to life when he saw the Inquisitor and her companions enter the keep.

“By the Maker,” he whispered. He grabbed his coat, throwing it on hastily before sliding down his ladder and running out of his office. He sped across the ramparts and down the stone steps. He caught up to the entourage, pushing through until he found her at the lead. He reached out, grabbing her shoulder gently.

“Inquisitor!”

She turned to look up at him. She was completely bedraggled - her cheeks were smudged from her travels, her clothes dirt-stained, hair in all directions. Cullen had never seen a more beautiful sight in his life.

Her eyes dropped to inspect him.

“Commander, I hate to point out the obvious...” she trailed off. Cullen glanced down, seeing his bare chest beneath his coat, and his feet exposed beneath the cloth of his sleeping trousers.

“I-I...” Cullen rubbed a hand through his hair and rubbed at the back of his neck. “Maker's Breath.”

He pulled her close and rested his chin on the top of her head. He wrapped one arm around her waist and the other around her shoulders. There were murmurs from the surrounding group, but Cullen shot them a dark look, causing them to scatter. They stood there for an unknown amount of time just holding each other. Vhildere had her arms wrapped around his waist and she nuzzled into his collar bone.

“I missed you,” he finally said. He reached up and stroked her dark, tangled hair. 

“I missed you too,” Vhildere reciprocated. She stepped back, giving him a sweet, yet tired smile. “I have to go debrief about my travels.”

Cullen frowned. How long was that going to take? He wanted to spend more time with her. “Perhaps I could come with you?” he offered.

Vhildere gave him a once-over. “Dressed like that?”

He had forgotten about his attire. “W-Well, I suppose I won't come with you, but...” he let the end of the sentence fall away. He didn't want to leave her side. Not just yet. She had just gotten back, and he knew that he wouldn't be able to spend much time with her after this. Just a while longer, he silently begged.

He watched her eyes search his face, seemingly pensive. They stood in silence for a time, Cullen captivated as he watched her pull that lush bottom lip between her teeth as she thought. Then her face lit up.

“How about tonight I just give Leliana the brief version of my report? I can give her the full report in the morning. Would you perhaps like to come up to my chamber after?” A bright flush colored her stained cheeks and Cullen couldn't help but smile. Maker, she was so beautiful. He wasn't sure what he had done to deserve her.

“I'd like that,” he whispered. He cupped her cheeks in her hands and leaned in close to kiss her. Vhildere quickly shot a hand up between them. Cullen suppressed a growl of protest.

“I'm disgusting,” she stated. “Give me an hour to finish my business with Leliana and take a bath.”

Cullen blushed, trying to fight the image that brought up. “Y-Yes. Of course. Perhaps I could bring you some dinner when you're done?” He offered.

Vhildere nodded. “That would be lovely,” she said, reaching up to give his cheek a gentle rub. She pulled out of his embrace, giving him one more glance over her shoulder as she started her way up the stone steps of the keep. 

His heart pounded against his chest as it sunk in. Sweet Maker, was she suggesting what he thought she was suggesting? Cullen let out a shiver, only partly from the cold. Were they ready for this? They had only just confessed their feelings for each other. He still got butterflies when he simply thought of kissing her. Let alone the thought of...

Placing a hand on his chest to steady his beating heart, he made his own way back up the steps.

 

Deep breath. Slow exhale. Silent curse as the tray in his hands tipped in one direction. Wine sloshed precariously in an overfilled glass. Cutlery clanked against dishes. Maker's Breath. So much for being discreet, he thought as he walked up the wooden steps that led to Vhildere's chamber.

He huffed as he looked down at the plate of food. It was late, and the kitchen staff wasn't cooking anymore tonight. Not that they would have given him the luxury of cooking for him, considering what an ass he had been over the past month. So, he grabbed what he thought would be a good light meal. Unsure of what elves preferred to eat, he filled a plate with fruits and cheeses and a small hunk of bread. He didn't even attempt to cook. He was no chef, and he decided it was better to spare himself the humiliation of watching Vhildere choke and pretend to enjoy it.

He paused when he reached her door. His gut twisted nervously. Maybe he should just hand her the food at the door and kiss her good night? He didn't want to rush things with her since their relationship was so new. Then again, he wanted to spend as much time with her as possible tonight. Maker knows when they would be able to have quality time alone together again. Though, if she flashed him even a hint of a alluring smile, he wasn't sure he would be able to contain himself.

Cullen cleared his throat nervously and balanced the tray onto one arm. He reached up and knocked, uncertain of what his plans were once she opened the door.

The wood creaked against the stone wall as the door slid open slightly. Vhildere peeked out, smiling when she saw that it was him. She opened it wide, allowing him entry. Cullen froze in the doorway, swallowing hard at seeing her. She wore a simple slip of a night gown; linen fabric, short sleeves that exposed her slender arms, and the hem ending mid thigh. Her hair was still slightly damp from her bath, and some droplets landed on the shoulder of her sleep wear. The color of her skin peeked through the damp material.

“I-I,” Cullen stammered. He looked away to gather himself.

“Food!” Vhildere exclaimed. She grabbed the tray from Cullen before he could react. She motioned for him to follow her as she started up the stairs into the main part of the chambers. He hesitated, but trailed in behind her. She walked straight to her bed, sitting down on one side with the tray in her lap. Cullen stood at the top of the stairs, clenching his jaw at seeing her in such an informal fashion. Illuminated only by the blazing fireplace, she looked more like a normal person. No uniform of the Inquisitor. Just a regular woman getting ready for bed. She looked – beautiful wasn't a sufficient enough word. She smiled at him as she bit off a piece of bread, patting the space next to her.

He rubbed at the back of his neck. “I'm sorry, but...” he blushed deeply, looking at the floor. “I was just thinking that maybe...perhaps this is too soon. I don't want to...to rush things.”

“What?” Vhildere asked. Cullen glanced back up at her. She was smiling – almost laughing. “No, seriously. Come here.” She patted the empty side of the bed again. Cullen took a few less-than-confident steps to the bed, resting on the edge. He turned to her, opening his mouth to speak and immediately shutting it when he looked at her. Heavy lids over rich green eyes, mouth slowly chewing on a hastily thrown together dinner, thin body relaxed against the mattress. She blinked up at him sleepily, a lazy smile on her lips. “I just wanted to spend the night with you, Cullen. Nothing scandalous, I assure you.”

His body relaxed all at once. Thank the Maker. It wasn't like he wouldn't show her a night she would never forget if she even hinted that it was what she wanted. But he wanted that kind of moment between them to be perfect. And the night she returns muddied from travels was not the right time.

Vhildere finished her bread and patted the empty spot next to her one last time, and he happily complied. He removed his fur coat and let it fall to the floor. He stretched his length along the bed, and she scooted close to him, tray of food moved to the end table and immediately forgotten. She laid her head on his shoulder.

“So,” she said after a short moment of silence, “I heard that the Commander was behaving like a caged lion during my absence.”

Cullen winced. He had hoped that detail would have been left out during her discussion with Leliana. “I – Yes.” He didn't even bother denying it. There was a whole castle full of people to tell her otherwise.

“I will have to ask you to apologize to the people you've upset,” she said. “And I will have to ask you to handle my absence better next time. Because there will always be a next time as long as the breach is open.”

Cullen nodded, but didn't say anything. That was easier said than done. 

A thin leg wrapped around one of his, and an arm snaked around his waist. He sucked in a breath between his teeth when her knee grazed across the tip of his cock. He closed his eyes and tried to think of anything that wasn't arousing.

“For what it's worth,” Vhildere mumbled in a tired tone, “I really did miss you.”

Cullen glanced down at her. Her eyes were closed, and he could tell she was already drifting to sleep. He placed a kiss on the top of her head and stroked her hair gently.

“I really missed you, too.”


End file.
